Many clients who consult SPETIV for career guidance and counselling ask this question: “How can I deal with my toxic boss?”
Your boss and your happiness
When it gets to job satisfaction and happiness at the workplace, chances are that your immediate boss has a big role to play. No matter how important you are to the organization and how skilled you may be, it is in your best interest to do everything to get along with your supervisor. That individual in that chair can make the organization a living hell for you, or a heaven.
For today though, let’s talk about those bosses who think it is their life’s objective to frustrate you. We are talking about that person driving you on your nerves and who seems to be doing so deliberately. They seem to hate you for no apparent reason, forcing you to walk on eggshells. They discredit you, downplay your contributions, highlight your weaknesses and keep records of your errors.
This is how you can outsmart them without even saying a single word.
- Turn them into the office outcast
Isolation is the most lethal weapon toxic bosses use against their targets. When you notice that your boss is trying to isolate you, do not panic. Instead, flip the script by building strong relationships with others within the team and in the organization. This way, if they ever have an issue with you, they would be the odd one out. No allies, no power.
Building strong relationships does not mean going around complaining about your boss. Don’t do it. Either you talk about them positively or not at all. Also make yourself available to support your colleagues and other supervisors in the organization. Do not let a single person determine how the organisation perceives you.
- Keep receipts and not regrets
Ensure that everything is put down in writing, including requests, meeting discussions, deliverables, outputs, outcomes, plans, and updates. When you come out of a meeting, follow it up with a friendly email. You can write something like, “Just to summaries your request from our short discussion so that I include them in my priorities” or “Just to get your confirmation of your expectations so that I can follow-up diligently,” or “Just to be sure that I understood what you said, …” When dealing with a toxic boss, learn to keep a trail of all moves, dates, times and details so that if they ever try to spin a narrative, you won’t be caught off-guard. You will have proof while they have nothing but bad vibes. You must protect yourself with evidence, justifications, approvals whilst always remaining very polite and collaborative.
- Let them dig their own grave
Stay cool and professional. The more unbothered you are, the more desperate they’ll become. Never give them a reaction to use against you. Just let them expose themselves. Toxic bosses will self-destruct when you don’t give them the chaos they crave. You must know that their toxicity is fueled when they notice that their actions destabilize you and that you desire their validation. But when they see you unbothered, laughing joyfully with other colleagues, meeting deadlines and ticking all the right boxes, self-doubt sets in, and that is how they lose their grip. Your silence, your happiness and your self-control are critical signs to a toxic boss that they may be hanged on the very gallows they built for you if they continue to treat you badly.
